I Just Had an Epiphany

Okay so this post might isolate some people and I really don't give a shit. And its s bit long.

Now most people don't know me or who I am or what I'm about. I was raised Roman Catholic I left the church when I was around 18 I did it alone for a while, I was a Christian but I didn't go to church. Later on I went to different churches, Episcopal, Protestant, I even left and I was practicing Wicca,  but at the same time I'm also very spiritual. I was raised by my father who was on a spiritual path and because he couldn't talk to my mother about it would come to talk to me about it. At 14 and 15 some of the shit he told me would scare the hell out of me but there was a lot of gnosis in me that I believed in some if  not most of what he said.

Around 98 My mother died, I also found out about my (ex) husbands adultery. I was angry and angry at God. At this point a Jehovahs Witness came by. I told them if they thought they could handle me they were welcome to come back. They Did. I told them I was not joining their church, and I didn't. But I did read and chat with them for a yr and a half. I came back to my faith in God but was driving myself crazy trying to figure who or what God was. I mean you can't get something from nothing, but I was always told he was always there.  (Physics)

 I later on joined the Baptist Church which was part of the Christian School where my young'un was going. I got baptized again.  I was born again, went to Bible study, went to church every week, took part in the Ladies Auxiliary, but at the same time I also maintained my spiritual life. I would spend a few months walking the faithful path as a good Christian and then I would take some time off of that and jump into the spiritual world where I would study and Ponder and meditate on things that I knew  was more to than what the Bible and the church was telling me.

Okay so now that you know where my faith stands I currently at this time in my life have come to the conclusion that the Bible is a book of allegories told to us to teach us lessons. I finally opened my eyes to see that hey nobody was there when God created the Earth so I don't know what he said and who is there to witness the fall of Lucifer and how do we know that God and Satan had a bet going when they were messing around with Jobs life, etc etc.

So I've come away from that and although I still believe in Jesus I know him as a great prophet and metaphysician and he is one with God as we all are and he even said so  John 10:34 ,"Is it not written in your law, (Psalms 82:6 ) I have said Ye are all Gods. At this point I struggle and I have been struggling for years who is God.  How do I pray? who am I praying to? My logical mind took over and it was a block for me. I am only now going back to praying to whomever because I still haven't any answers.
I understand the concept of us being one with God. I liken it to an ocean. Take a test tube and fill it with ocean water and cap it off. The ocean is God and so that little bit in the testtube is still God but the glass tube is our Meat suits, our bodies, so WE ARE GOD, but 56 yrs of christian programming of the man in the sky is still there and creating a conflict in my mind.

Okay so now that you know where I sit spiritually you'll understand some of what I'm going to say . About  2000 - 2001 I bought the movie Left Behind, the one with Kirk Cameron, the original.  I like the music and later on I downloaded the music to my iPod.  Fast Foward to day, I was listening to my iPod the soundtrack from Left Behind came on.

Now I've been feeling kind of restless inside something keeps pumping at me to go and meditate to raise my vibrations and I keep saying yeah yeah yeah but I don't make the time for it.

 So I'm listening to this song today and the lyrics in the beginning are

"You might think I'm crazy but I've been feeling lately I'm standing on the edge of something ready to break more and more I hear it something in my spirit telling me we're closer than ever to that day."

 That's kind of how I've been feeling, something's nudging at me, just waiting for the other shoe to drop kind of feeling.
As I'm listening to the song and I'm sitting here crocheting and my mind is just going back to the movie and I'm thinking about scenes from the movie and I had an epiphany.

In the movie  the guy who plays the devil (Nicolae) he manipulates reality and most people don't even realize it. Things are changing and most people don't realize it and and the only people that know something's going on are the few people that became christians that have been left behind . Kirk Cameron originally in the movie was a agnostic or an atheist he didn't really believe and he went to this meeting with the heads of state at the supposed to be the UN and Nicolae was there (who is actually the devil) and he kills these two guys.  He shoots these two guys in front of everyone. He figured out that they were going to double cross him and Kirk Cameron , who is just gave himself over to God and is a baby Christian is sitting there and can see that there's something wrong and nobody else in the room can see it and with the snap of a finger everybody's like oh my God this one guy killed his friend and then shot himself. They dont even see it was Nicolae who killed these guys. But Kirk Cameron being the Christian knows the truth .

 So it seems like noone sees the things going on except for the new Christians the ones who converted after the Rapture.
Now I don't believe in the Rapture.  Rapture is not even in the Bible, and that's all about eschatology and I don't go there. I don't get into tribulation and Rapture and all that. However there is a part in the Bible that says that in the twinkling of an eye God Will Take One and leave the other. Two will people will be lying in bed one will disappear,  two women in the kitchen cooking washing dishes one stays one goes in twinkling of an eye just like that.

 I thought of all this today while I was listening to that song and I'm like this Mandela effect stuff is just like the movie I mean you got people running around who don't see any changes calling us crazy because we're going,  "hey this shit's changed, there's something different, there's something wrong, you know lyrics have changed, names have changed, the Bible has changed. That's another post I'm going to get into one day cuz that's a big post and there was like Mega changes in the Bible.

So I'm just wondering now, you know I've been going into my theories about what this Mandela effect stuff is and I know they said in the Bible that things will speed up, they compare the things that are happening in End of Days  to that of a woman in labor. They say it's going to be happening faster and faster And quicker and quicker and I noticed that things are changing now whole lot more than when I first started noticing them in the 90s in the late 90s.
Back in 96 I noticed that we were the sun was different. The sun was white and it was hot  and in January when it shouldn't have been and it was and I noticed other changes like name changes the Berenstein/ Berenstain Bear changes, logo changes, and all the stuff that I attributed to my memory .
I figured it was my memory that was bad or they changed logos on packaging , but I couldn't figure out why the sun was white and hot though and but I would argue with anybody who mentioned global warming, that it was from the Sun not SUVs on mars, because the whole solar system was heating up.
 I'm just wondering if maybe there really is a battle between God and the devil who knows maybe there really is Lucifer going around. Anyway I just needed to get this off my chest and this  Theory post will be continued because there still isn't any answers just a lot of what ifs, thoughts, &  epiphanies etc etc